Monday, April 19, 2010

With what disgrace !

Tharoor ji,
Jai Shri Ram. This was bound to happen. We were sensing it for some time that this pie was not baking well. You, of course, didn't understand it in the high of being a minister. Now, not only is the position gone, but your good name, if you consider it of any value, is also gone.

Great Ghalib sahab has said,
'nikalanaa khuld se aadam ka sunate aaye haiN lekin
bahut beaabaroo ho kar tere kooche se ham nikale'
i.e. I have heard of Adam being kicked out of Eden
But I was walked out of your lane much more disgraced.

Anyways, now you can chirp on tweeter, tour Dubai or Canada, flirt around, good riddance to cattle class, stay at five or fifty-star hotel! No one to question. Though when someone is there to watch, only then it is fun to break rules - the attraction of forbidden fruit! Anyways, now that the minister post is gone, then to heck with the party, it is not going to keep you from being a 'widow'. At most, Congress can kick you out of the party but the perks of being an MP, paycheck and future pension - who can stop that. Have fun in the AV coaches of Indian Railway. We would even suggest that you should select a good train and not even get down from the AC coach. You don't have to pay anyways. And you can put the bungalow in Delhi on rent!

We have no dearth of suggestions. Maybe you can get bored. Anyways, just like Vetal used to tell stories to the King Vikramaditya (famous folk tales of India), so we will also tell you a story. And, after that we won't even ask you a question and put you in dilemma. So, listen.

There was a village bum. Simpleton and less educated. Didn't even know proper Hindi, forget about tweeting English. He somehow got married to a town girl. He would speak his country tongue, and she would show off her 'educated' Hindi. Many days passed, the boy was frustrated. Every time she would say, 'Got it? Did you get it?'. These questions are rhetoric and don't need an answer. One day the boy got tired and replied - 'Yes, I got it.' The girl was shocked. This was the first time he spoke back. She retorted - 'What? What did you understand?' To which the boy said, - 'I got it, you are not going to stay with me for much longer.'

So, my dear child, we got it the same day when you started to show off your English (Issue over use of 'Interlocutor' in reference to Kashmir, when talking to Arab leaders). Now, what is the point of crying over the milk, it is all done now. Remember, when in Rome do as Romans do. Be Indian, talk Indian. Common man wants desi oratory. Whatever may happen behind the curtains, you should display a bright white robe outside. People, they themselves maybe worst scum, but want their politicians to be squeaky clean like fresh milk. Those who visit the religious ashrams, may themselves ogle over the voluptuous devotees, but keep full track of the swami's wandering eyes. And at the release of any video, they themselves are ready to beat the swami's posters.

Listen to another funny story! We got tons of them! Now, you have no rush to go to the ministry and we have nothing else to do but to write letters to great souls like you. In an intellectual state of India, a priest was performing a wedding. Priest was also no less than the host. More than half the guests were high, and so was the priest. After the ‘phere’ (circumambulating the sacred fire), he said, 'Now let the bridge and groom get up and put hand prints on the wall.' One family member who noticed, said 'Punditji, you didn't make them go round the fire proper number of times, it is one less than needed.' Without missing a beat, the priest replied, 'If they are going to live happily ever after, they will do so even with one less round.'

So, the math of married life is also something like this. If it is to succeed, even the most mismatched marriage may last lifelong. If not, then even love marriages break up quickly. Your first marriage was also love marriage? Full twenty five years. Two nice children as well, by God's grace! The householder stage (grihastha ashram) is said to be only of twenty five years. After that, one hands over the responsibilities to the children and prepares for a retired social service life (vaanaprastha ashram). And you married second time after fifty, when you should be retiring from a life of pleasure. How would the poor children take this? As per our calculations, you should get the kids married, and let your daughter-in-law earn some ‘punya’ by taking care of you, and you should play with the grandchildren. But, this pleasure is not in their luck who only think of their own fun.

You second wedding was in 2007 at the age of 51. Is that an age to marry! And as if your second wife was a young bride? She was also fully experienced. Well, here is another story; your story reminds us of so many stories! A village man married very late. Girl was from the village as well, and she too was of good age. Man said, let us go for honeymoon. After three four days of honeymoon, she asked, so when are we going to honeymoon? So he said, ‘What were we doing all these days?’ To which the woman said, 'You didn't have to come so far for this. This we could do in the fields any time.' So, your second one was smarter than you thought. In Hind we say ' aap ser to wo savaa ser'. That marriage had to end this way only. Divorce is either on the way or already finished.

Now, you are seen with your third friend. She too is no naive girl. Has her own business in Dubai. Lust destroys man's intelligence. Dasharath too was over attracted to Kaikeyi and lost his mind to have send Rama to exile. Rama and Ayodhya, both suffered for his decision. And now, you are also stuck in such fatal attraction. For such situation only, the saint Kabir has called woman as 'maya' (enchantress) and 'Thagini' (cheat). But who can escape such maya? Only those who either have the grace of God on them or love their family, wife and children.

We would suggest that you should reconcile with your first wife and live in some peace. May the Lord bestow some good thoughts in you.


Original Hindi Post

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Translated from the original works of Ramesh Joshi from the following blogs - Jhootha Sach (True Lies) and Joshi Kavi (Poet)
Original (c): Ramesh Joshi. Translation (c): Shashikant Joshi